They Wrote the Rules. We’re Setting Them on Fire

“Sit properly.”
“Don’t shout.”
“Walk like a lady.”
“Oh, you watch cricket? Then what’s LBW?”
“You need to marry where we decide.”
“Be slim, you don’t look like a girl.”
“Cover up, but don’t dress like a nun.”

It’s funny how everyone has an opinion on how girls should behave.
We are either “too much” or “not enough.”
Too loud, too quiet.
Too friendly, too cold.
Too confident, too insecure.

There’s no winning, unless you stop playing the game altogether.

And the worst part?
Some of us start playing without even realizing.
Somewhere between childhood and being “old enough to know better,” we start shrinking.
We start lowering our voices, dressing how we’re told to, stop prioritizing ourselves, and of course, we learn how to cook.

We replay conversations in our head to make sure we weren’t “too much.”
Because girls aren’t supposed to be angry.
We’re supposed to be nice.
We’re supposed to forgive quickly, be polite, be understanding.
Even when someone is being disrespectful.
Even when someone is objectifying us.
Even when our space is being invaded.

And when we don’t?
When we set boundaries, say no, or raise our voices?
Suddenly, we’re the problem.
We’re “rude.”
“Too full of ourselves.”
“Trying too hard to get attention.”

I still remember being 10 years old, just outside my house, playing with my friends, laughing, living.
Then a girl walked by and said, “She’s too much.”
I didn’t even know what that meant.
But it stuck.
That was the first time someone made me feel like being happy, just laughing and living out loud. was something to be ashamed of.

Back then, I was confident.
I used to be the kind of girl who could stand in front of a hundred students and perform without thinking twice.
In a class of forty, I’d raise my hand without hesitation, because I believed what I had to say mattered.

But slowly, the mockery started.
Little comments, little jabs 
“Too loud.”
“Too attention-seeking.”
“Too much.”

I didn’t realize what was happening at the time, but looking back…
That’s when I started losing my confidence.
That’s when I started losing myself.

Now, I’m trying to bring her back.
That fearless, outspoken, happy version of me.
The girl who wasn’t afraid to shine.
The “too full of herself” version of me.

Because why is it okay for boys to storm into a room like they own it, but when a girl walks in confidently, she’s labeled “a pick-me”?
Why is her confidence threatening?
Why is her voice always “too loud”?
Why does her success make others uncomfortable?

Maybe it’s not because girls are too much 
Maybe it’s because we were never expected to take up space.
We were expected to follow.
Smile politely.
Fit in quietly.
Never challenge. Never lead.

Because the truth is, it was never really about how a girl dressed, or how loudly she laughed, or how she lived.
It’s always been about control.
About passing down unsaid rules that were designed to benefit one side.

Generation after generation, boys were told to lead, to dominate, to be the stronger one.
And somewhere along the way, they started believing that’s the only way to be a man.
Not because they’re born that way, but because they’re taught that way.
Just like girls are taught to shrink, boys are taught to rise, alone.

But if parents, teachers, families, and systems started raising boys with the same lessons of empathy, equality, and softness we force on girls…
Maybe the world wouldn’t be so scared of a powerful woman.
Maybe dominance wouldn’t be the default.
Maybe control wouldn’t be disguised as tradition.

Girls are handed an invisible rulebook the moment we’re old enough to understand the word “ladylike.”
And page after page, it tells us how to behave:
Sit softer. Speak smaller. Feel less. Apologize more.

That’s the game.
And when a girl dares to stop playing it?
The world doesn’t always know what to do with her.

But let’s be clear, we’re not asking to be treated equally.
We’re not begging for space or attention.
We’re not requesting change.
We’re claiming what was always ours.
Because equality isn’t a gift, it’s a given.

So no, this isn’t a gender war.
It never was.

It’s a wake-up call.
A truth that’s been ignored for too long.
We’re not trying to outshine anyone, we just want the freedom to shine without being punished for it.

Because when a girl starts rising, the world shouldn’t panic.
It should listen, celebrate, make room.

I’m done being sorry.
I’m done being polite just to make people comfortable.
I’m done checking myself just to fit into someone else’s outdated mold.

If a girl wants to speak up, wear what she wants, take up space, swear, lead, laugh loudly, be herself - then let her.
Because maybe the problem isn’t the girls.
Maybe the problem is the rules.

Burn the rulebook.
Write your own.
And don’t apologize for it.

If this made you feel seen, tell me:
What’s one thing you stopped doing just to fit in?
And what’s one thing you’re ready to reclaim?
Drop it in the comments.
Let’s unlearn, together.